The Blood of Innocents, or Day Three

Three days down, an indeterminate number to go. But hey, let's focus on the three days I've already conquered.

I'm not even going to bother with the tally of daily fail, because today was so rough it's easier to just go all-out confessional style.

Forgive me, Blogger, for I have sinned...
This morning, I did not throw back the covers. I emphatically did not freshen up. I lay on the couch with a headache, dozing and hoping the world would end.

I did not shower. I did not put on makeup. I did not do my chores in order, although most of them did get done.

I did not change into something more festive. I did not put out a coffee tray. I did greet my husband by shaking his hand and saying "Hi, I'm Jodie".

When you come home from work tomorrow, I'm going to greet you with a lesbian I saved from suicide.

It is 8pm, and I have not washed the dinner dishes. I have not poured boiling water down the drains. I have not packed my husband's lunch, set the table for the morning, or enjoyed an evening of relaxation.
I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to be a better housewife. Amen.

Daily chore
WEDNESDAY
This day would be a kind of errand day.  She would go do the grocery shopping, go to the post office or library.  Anywhere she needed to go that week.  After returning home and putting away the groceries she had the rest of the day to do the mending or any sewing.

Dear. LORD.

I figured today would be a good day to purchase some rubber gloves to avoid those unsightly dishpan hands I mentioned on Day One, and to purchase some vinegar so that I might one day clean properly again. I also had something to drop off with Sissy-in-Lawsy. This plan involved me taking three children - all under the age of five - on a 7.5km round trip. But who's counting? Amirite or amirite?

In case anyone is wondering, it was a stupid idea, and a stupid plan. I don't care how many calories I burned or how much sunlight and fresh air my children got. It was stupid and it sucked and expecting a four year old to walk 7.5kms is outright idiotic. Hopefully she'll sleep well tonight, at least.

Anyway, the whole excursion ended up taking four hours, so no sewing or mending was done today.

Some reflections on the day

• After watching baby Sam fall off a stepstool and drive his teeth through his lip, I wonder why all household management tips for 50s housewives include the preface "Assuming you can get through your day without any trips to the emergency room..."
• The kids are big fans of the Wiggle Wagon, and Sam has added "doggie" to his list of dog-themed words. It joins "dog", "gooddog", "sit", and "dogdog".
• When planning a meal, always select something that can be safely ignored while you perform first aid.